This is the story of my healing journey, one on which I am just embarking. I don’t care who reads this blog, it’s not for you but for me. This is my place to put down my thoughts, my feelings, and hopefully my progress towards becoming a whole person. If you choose to read this, please know that there will be some content here that is difficult to read dealing with mental illness and verbal/emotional abuse. If you choose to comment on my posts, please be constructive – I’ve taken enough abuse in this lifetime, I won’t tolerate it here.
Who I Am
- I am a 45 year old woman coming to terms with a childhood of verbal abuse and emotional neglect.
- I have atypical depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
- I have suffered at least 3 major depressive episodes (a.k.a. ‘nervous breakdowns’) in the last 10 years. I am recovering from the most recent one as I start this blog.
- I am an adult child of an alcoholic, a garden-variety co-dependent, and I have an addictive relationship with food and video games.
- If you met me on the street you would probably think I’m completely normal. I have a full time job, I’m happily married, I volunteer in my community, I’m remarkably nondescript.
- I’m quiet and serious most of the time, perhaps a bit too serious. My sense of humor is dry and quirky, but a good fart joke will send me into hysterics.
- I’m very intelligent, kind-hearted, and loyal (basically not much different than your average Golden Retriever).
- I love animals more than people, my wonderful husband not withstanding. We have no children but 2 big dogs and 3 cats.
- I believe in a higher power and in angels. I’m very spiritual but not at all religious.
- Most of all, I am strong and I am a survivor. I am not defined by my illness or my past.
- I’m terrified of this healing journey. I don’t want to hurt any more and I know that this journey will be immensely painful. At the same time I’m tremendously hopeful for the person I will become as I travel this path.
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